I confess, I used to watch Star Trek! Not that I'm a "Trekkie" by any means, but I did used to find the show interesting. My favorite character was Mr. Data - he always seemed to be the one to get them out of trouble, probably because he knew everything!
If you've ever watched the show at all, you'll probably be familiar with "The Borg" and their memorable phrase "resistance is futile". You know what? The Borg were actually right!
Most stress is created in our lives when we resist what is. When we try to fight against something that's happening because we don't like it. But the more we fight and struggle against it, the more stuck we become and the more stressed we become. Let's take a couple of every day examples:
You're late for an appointment. You rush out of the house, get in your car and on the road, and just as you get going on the highway, traffic comes to a standstill and you're stuck in a traffic jam. You get upset. You're late. Your boss or the customer will be upset with you. Tension mounts. Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure rises - this can't be happening. You're in resistance. But what does that resistance achieve? It can't change the fact that you're in a traffic jam. It can't make you move any faster. So what can you do? You can accept the fact that there is a traffic jam and that you're stuck in it. That's a fact. There is nothing you can do at this moment in time that will change that, so accept it.
When you accept that this is indeed the situation you find yourself in and there is nothing you can do to change it at this moment, it gives you the ability to relax. To stay calm. To breathe. It takes away all of the tension and stress. When you are in this calm state, you can think more clearly. Since you find yourself in this situation, what can you do? If you have your cell phone you can call the people you are meeting with and tell them of your situation so they know. You can listen to some music, or better still, some educational CD's that you keep in your car. Very often you'll find that once you've relaxed and surrendered the situation, that traffic will soon start moving again and you end up not being so late after all. But even if that doesn't happen it's okay.
Consider the alternative. You get upset, you fight, you resist the fact that you're in the traffic jam and you eventually arrive at your meeting, very late, very frustrated, and very angry. Will you be at your best in the meeting? This stress will most likely stay with you not only throughout the meeting, but throughout the day. You then go home and are upset with your family because you've had a stressful day and you're not able to let go of it. You may even find that you can't get to sleep because you're still thinking about what a terrible day you had. You just can't let go of it.
This can apply to any situation. Let's take another example: you're preparing a report that's due first thing in the morning. You've left it until the last minute and now you're rushing to get it done - so you're already stressed because you're under pressure. You work diligently on your report and now you're almost at the end when - the computer crashes. You realize you didn't save your work. You can't get your computer going again. You call technical support and are placed on hold for - who knows how long? This can't be happening. Why didn't you start the report sooner? Why didn't you save it? Why do these things always happen to you? Why is life so unfair? Why is everybody so incompetent that you can't get anybody to fix it when you need them to?
Does this sound familiar? Again, in this situation your blood pressure rises, your heart rate increases, you're upset, you're angry, you're worried. How can you possibly surrender this situation? It's terrible! Well, let's look again at the facts. You left preparation of the report until the last minute. You didn't save your work. The computer crashed. You can't get through to anyone to fix it right now. No amount of you jumping up and down, shouting, getting angry or frustrated is going to change any of that, is it? Acknowledge that. Accept that the situation is as it is. Getting upset won't change it. Once you can accept that these are the facts, this is what is happening now, and simply let go of trying to wish it were different or force the change, then the tension you feel will go away. You'll be able to breathe and become calm. Once you're in a calm state, then you can ask yourself the question - is there anything I can do right now that will change or improve this situation? Perhaps you can borrow somebody else's computer and start the report again. Perhaps there is somebody else you can think of who can get your computer working. Once you're in this calmer state of mind you might actually find that you get through to Technical Support and the situation gets resolved. You might even find that your document did not disappear thanks to document recovery in the program.
Most of us are extremely stressed. There is a great deal of research that shows that stress is the major cause of most illnesses, relationship challenges and so on. But we create most of it ourselves by being resistant to what is happening. When you can accept a situation as it is and be okay with it, that doesn't mean that you are giving in, that you'll never make any progress. Just the opposite in fact. When you give up the resistance, somehow you find that the ideas, resources, people - whatever you need to move forward just shows up. Instead of "making it happen" you're "allowing it to happen."
I encourage you to try this as you go through your day. Whatever challenges arise, simply accept them as they are. Stay calm, and allow the solutions to present themselves - without you trying to force the situation.
Linda Binns shows you how to be more successful in all areas of your life by working with your environment. Sign up for her free 9-step E-course at http://www.HarmoniousLifeChoices.com
Linda Binns is author of Feng Shui for Your Relationships: Changing Your Environment to Create Better Relationships. She has been a Feng Shui Practitioner, Author, Speaker and teacher for over 10 years. She has appeared internationally on television and radio and in local publications. Linda is also the founder of The Feng Shui Success Institute - which teaches in-depth Feng Shui training and practitioner certification.
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